Mother's Day.

11.5.2008.

To-day, May 11th., is Mother's Day. Last night some of us were at our mother's house for a kenduri, mainly for prayers for various things to be thankful for, like my neice's imminent matriculation for pre-medic, remembering our all beloved deceased, and for the blessings of the health and welfare of our kin. So, in a way it was also our Mother's Day celebrations.

Mom is about 83. I'll have to check her i.c. for the exact date. I think this is probably close, because I think she is about the same age as my late father's little sister, Siti Hawa, who passed away just two days ago. This posting, and last night's prayers, are also in her memory. 

Mom is frail now. But then she had never been a very robust woman, although she brought out all nine of us. When she was small, so my late grandmother said, she was a sickly girl. Some Malays believe that the name is unsuitable and should be changed. So my grandmother changed her name from the beautiful "Azizah" to the rather plain "Cik Yong", spelled the old way Che Yong. 

A funny thing happened later in adult life. She went to the District Hospital for her regular check up. As usual she gave her hospital visitation card, and sat waiting for her turn to see the doctor. After some time, the attending nurse called out" Chee Yong", as in a Chinese- sounding name. So my Mom just sat there, not responding, and waited. And waited. Until she inquired about her turn, and only then discovered the mispronouciation. 

Excepting for my school-teacher father who died rather early at 58, all of us, thank God, are still here. Mom doesn't leave the house now, but she still potters around whenever she feels strong enough. Her eyesight and hearing are not as sharp as before, but her mind is still clear. We count our blessings for her continuing presence among us.

Her family on my late grandfather's side all lived fairly long. My grandfather, Hassan, lived to nearly 90. His elder brother, Hussin, in Talang died, not long after a fall, at 96. Another brother and a sister of his also passed away at past their 90's. I hope the genes are passed on to me, ha ha. 

This afternoon my daughter, our 4th. and youngest child, smsed me to buy perfume for her mother. I'm pretty quick on the trigger and replied it's your mother, stupid. She replied it's berdosa to call her stupid, and I countered no dosa if factual, then no more reply. 

The other two boys also smsed their mother, but not my eldest, so I smsed HIM saying Happy Mother's Day, but there was no response. Either he didn't notice the sms, or he was ignoring it. 

Mom went to school as a child, which those days was not a given thing. So she's literate, although her handwriting is child-like. As far as I can remember, to this day she has never missed her daily prayers, and reads  the Holy Quran every day. She has also never missed not only the Ramadhan fast, but also the 6 days in Syawal, and often, until several years ago, the fast on Mondays and Thursdays. 

At the last count, Mom has 24 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren. So while the house has been enlarged, come Hari Raya it's usually filled to the brim, at least for the first two days. Fortunately the compound is large enough to take in all the usual number of cars, although it has to be LIFO - last in, first out. 

Mom is of the Suku (clan) Sri Melenggang, or Solonggang, of the 12 Sukus in the Minangkabau- originated matriachal society system still practiced in most parts of Negeri Sembilan. So I'm also Solonggang. But my children, and my daughter's children, would take after my wife, a Tiga Batu.

There's a saying among the sukus - the Tedatar ( suku Tanah Datar ) likes his chillies, the Dondo (suku Biduanda) is tardy, the Tiga Batu is quarrelsome. I don't know how far this is true, but the saying that the Solonggang has a big mouth might be too close for comfort ! It was also true that my late father liked to chew on fresh "lada api" - the small fiery chillies - when he had his meals at home, and he was Tedatar. My wife is Tiga Batu, but sshh ! I don't want to start an arguement. 

Mom is always the quiet one, in spite of being a Solonggang. I know she is proud of what we, the children, have done with our lives, but I have never heard her talk to visitors about us, even when asked. She would say I dunno, so-and-so is in KL, dunno what he does. I know an in-law who boasts about her daughter to everyone who would listen, saying she gives her so much every month, and bought her this cloth which cost so much. 

Mom once gave, annonymously, to a mosque in Johol RM 3,000. For that time, this was large.  Mom is just the widow of a school-teacher drawing a small pension. Darus Salim who found out about this donation and told me about it, was genuinely impressed. Of course all of us, the children, regularly give her money, but she never talks about it. My guess is, assuming all of us contribute at least the same amount that I do, she receives a four-figure monthly stipend. 

Two of my sisters are staying with mom now, and she also has an Indonesian maid to help around the house. So I guess her daily needs are adequately met. All of us also visit frequently, although I must admit I don't do so often enough. My brother has rather late in life found new love in super bikes. So now he has good reason to tool down to Kuala Pilah on his 1,200 cc Yamaha on weekends. I don't know if he has his full "B" motorcycle licence. He's also into scuba diving.I hope it doesn't cross his mind to take mom for a spin on his big bike. Or go scuba diving.

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