Another Malay wedding.

17.5.2008.

Last night I attended another Malay wedding, this time a Malaysian- Brunei Malay wedding. Unlike the Javanese-Malay wedding story I posted several weeks ago, this one represented everything that I like. The venue was nice, the hall was comfortable, the dinner was set, the atmosphere was civil, the hosts saw and thanked everyone, the coversations were lively, the events not too lengthy, and everything fitted nicely into about two hours, more or less.

Perhaps what I liked best was that Hamid's obligatory host's speech was short and sweet. This was the second wedding hosted by Hamid that I've been invited to. The first one was several years ago, held at Tabung Haji, Kelana Jaya, for another of his children. But that was much more modest, and buffet-style. I suppose last night's occasion called for an upgrade, seeing how his "besan" is scion of a Pehin from Tutong, Brunei. The video showed a sumptious wedding at a hotel there. Hamid must reciprocate, of course. 

I've known Hamid from my university days more than 40 years ago. When we entered university, the orientation assembly for ALL 600 new undergraduates could fit into the Arts Concourse. The Students Union President was a final year Science undergraduate called Mokhtar Hashim. Hamid and I were in the same faculty, so we were always bumping into each other. There was Said Awang, Zainuddin Bahari, Zakaria Awang Soh, Nik Fakhrulrazi , Yusof Ibrahim, Lilian , and many others in the faculty. Also in that year's Arts intake was Rahim Nor. 

The one memorable feature of the wedding in Brunei, as shown on the video, was the many old Malay customs that were once practiced here in the Malay Peninsula. These were the adat berbedak for bride-to-be, mandi limau for the groom (not shown), membasuh kaki, and the donning of the intricate songket baju with the rich gold ornaments for both bride and groom.

Nowadays wedding couples prefer the modern fashion. The "menepong tawar",too, was blissfully brief, involving a very small number of participants. These things can drag ,sometimes. Although I noticed a fair number of Tan Sris present, thankfully Hamid limited the number called to very immediate family members only. The cake cutting became the yellow glutinous rice cutting, for which the couple quickly changed to western dress backstage. 

The live music accompaniment, at this point, wasn't the best I've heard, but it wasn't too intruding. However, the MC made a mistake, unnoticed, when praising the couple, by saying "like Laila and majnun".It's Laila and Quis. Majnun is Arabic for mad. At the end of it, the couple decided to mingle rather than stand at the entrance to signal the end of the reception, and the crowd encouraged to do so instead of leaving straight away. Seeing that it was 11 p.m. we decided to leave anyway.

 I saw a few old collegues. In fact Zalfan sat at my table. Yusuf I met at the surau during Magrib prayers, and Mat Abbas when I came out of the toilet before leaving. Md. Zin Ali, the "small boy" passed by my table early in the evening, but joined his own friends at another table. Zalfan and I were talking away most of the evening, though we had difficulty hearing each other sometimes because of the loud recorded music. This is the one thing I notice at these functions, the inabilty of the organizers to play the music in moderation. Most of the times it is decibles too loud. A good start to the evening is usually to look out for the loud speakers and find a seat as far away as possible. 

Each guest took back a small songket-covered box of Trengganu-made sweets, quite nice to the taste. This was also a nice variation from the old "bunga telor".Zalfan and I left our congratulatory notes on the cards provided, a novelty I've seen for the first time, a nice touch. They even provided the ball-pens. I pocketed mine, "for souvenirs". 

I estimated the attendance at about 600. I thought this was a good number. We tend to invite everybody to these weddings, when in fact we don't have to. The private weddings of Hollywood are of course the opposite extreme. 

I never did say goodbye to Hamid. But when he and his wife came around to our table, I did say I have two more children not married, and he replied same here. So I guess we'll see each other again four more times. Hopely it won't take the next 40 years.

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