The second day of Syawal was reserved for the siblings' meeting over mom's remaining worldly affairs, so the day was freed of other "jalan Raya" committments.
Calit called and I told him let's meet after Zohor. We didn't leave Seremban until 12 because of Memi - he was having a slight case of diarrhoea. And then right at Panchor the Seremban-KP jam had begun. So it wasn't until 1.45 before we reached the old house.
I had prepared some notes for the meeting, and, as the eldest, persumptively chaired it, beginning at about 2.20.
9 of the original 11 points were easily agreed upon, covering basically the assignment of the old house to one person, Yan, the setting up of a fund to finance the maintainence of the house and providing for the livlihood of Yan for the rest of her life, and other little items that need clearance.
The 2 items of slight disagreement were on the point of Ati being "manager", and the 100-day tahlil.
Din said if you appoint a manager(Ati) then her services must be accounted for monetarily. I explained that the word was used for want of a better one, but is never meant to be a paid official job, only putting someone in-charge voluntarily. Ati explained that she had always given the biggest contribution to the household expenses except for 200 ringgit from mom each month, so the question is moot.
Dek Ma seemed unduly agitated about the 100-day tahlil, and opposed it, going to the unnecessary extent of saying that when she dies she doesn't want it for herself. I was a bit surprised by her emotional reaction, but quickly replied that this is not un-Islamic just because the Prophet didn't do it in his lifetime, and that when you are dead it's up to the living to do to you whatever they want to. Other than the teachings of al Quran and al Sunnah, after the death of the Prophet many practices were allowed through Ijmak and Qiyas. Din elaborated and Fadzil supported and the issue was considered settled.
I had made the initial suggestion that this meeting be convened, and specifically Fadzil and Fuad had given their quick agreement. As the oldest of the siblings, the full agreement of everyone was not a concern to me. My one and only objective was to settle mother's finances as is obligatory in Islamic Syara', to save the memory of the house, and to ensure the life-lasting livelihood of Yan. I had no preconceived ideas of the support that I would get from my siblings, nor was I in any way perturbed by any possible objection. I was only determined that I play my part in a responsible way, and was prepared to let the majority decide. I'm glad that everything was amicably settled, and the meeting amicably ended at about 3.15.
I must record my appreciation for Din's timely comments (and he was the last one in the round-table) for highlighting mother's lifetime good deeds, and the lessons he got as a son. I must also record the supportive comments of Fadzil and the others. I specifically put on record my personal and lasting appreciation for Yan's services to mother, and I'm sure all the others share the sentiment.
I must, however, put on record my disappointment over Ajit's comment outside the meeting. It seemed he took exception to my mentioning that I saw mother once, a long time ago, giving money to Yah, his wife, although Yah has an income.
I did mention this episode, during this meeting, but it was in the context of giving examples of mother's good deeds, that even a salary-earning daughter-in-law was given money.
I quickly explained my comments to Ajit. I said in a raised voice that he should not leave this gathering with the wrong impression about what has been said, and that I'm not stupid. I'm appreciative that both Fadzil and Din supported my explanation. I didn't hear Ajit's reply, nor did I see a demeanour to indicate a positive reception to the 3 explanations. No matter. I hope he will understand in due course. If not, it will be his problem, not mine.
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