Wed. 29.12.2021
Just a couple of days to the end of 2021, and my half-brother Yusuf has passed away at home in Batu Caves this morning.. He's due to be buried after Magrib today because several deaths were recorded for the local burial ground, and sadly even in death they have to que up.
According to syara', sibilings with the same father are not considered "step-brother" or "step-sister".
Yusuf was born on 1.4.1952. That made him 69 years, 8 months and 28 days old. He was no. 6 on our siblings' list of 13. There were 7 boys and 6 girls - an almost equal share. I'm the oldest at 77, with Umay Karsom, my half-sister, the youngest at 62. Dad died of a second heart attack at the KL hospital at 58.
I first met Yusuf at Induk's house at Kg. Ibol. That was also the first time I met his mother, dad's second wife. I went there for a kenduri with others, but I can't remember who, though mum didn't come. That I remember, because I told her that Yusuf's mother gave me some money, paper money used instead of coins for small change at that time, when we got home. Mum wasn't pleased. We met near the bamboo clump in front of Induk's house. Yusuf was wearing a shirt without any trousers. "Nak berak" was his mother's explanation. I was probably in std. 2, and Yusuf may have been around 2.
Padir slept at Yusuf's mother's house once. Dad took him. Mum was again not happy with that.
I attended Yusuf's circumcision. I remember we waited for him to come back from the river. He went there to soak up for a period of time. The ritual was to "soften" the skin of his male member and lessen, it was believed, the bleeding. I watched the mudim putting the bamboo clips, Yusuf sitting on a banana tree placed on the floor. I looked away when the mudim took out his clearly very sharp knife. Yusuf was probably in Std. 6, rather late for this "operation".
I also attended Yusuf's wedding, also at his mother's house in Terachi. I remember his mother asking me to "look after" Yusuf back in KL.
When dad died and left a modest amount of cash from his bank account, the 9 of us with mum agreed to pass all of it to Yusuf and the four of them, the step-brothers and sisters. I contacted all of them and in Yusuf's case, I found out where he was staying (in Pantai Dalam) and for the first and last time visited him there to give him their share. There were a few other meetings at kenduris later, and I did attend one of Yusuf's offsprings' wedding at his Batu Caves house. But that was it. At these rare meetings Yusuf was friendly enough. But there was no follow up, and we kept our own councils, I guess. Aini, the younger sister, I have maintained closer contact, because she's right here in Seremban. On top of that, my brother Dr. Din's daughter is married to Aini's step-son. Khairil, the handicapped youngest brother stays with Aini, so we also see each other when Aini and I make mutual visits, or attend the same functions. Umay is retired now in Selayang, somewhere, but I don't maintain contact, though we know one another. In fact when I was GM Felda Niaga I managed to get her to come for a job interview. I didn't attend the interview myself. I never do. I didn't tell the staff our relationship. I would've given her the job, as I've done to many relatives from KP and KL I'd called because of vacancies. Umay didn't react well when posted with some "tough" questioning. She said to Ungku Hamzah something to the effect that she didn't ask for the job. She was called for the job. I thought that wasn't helpful, and taking her and having our relationship revealed later would not put things "nicely". When the panel omitted her name, I decided to let the matter pass.
I only found out about Yusuf's passing when I came home at about 4 this afternoon. I have no idea how to get there. Even if the burial was over, I would have gone to pay my respects. But Calit also doesn't know the way. With the KL traffic, the pandemic and the flood situation, I decided to call off any plan for visitation. Too bad. I have deep regrets.
God Bless you, Yusuf, Amin.
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