Islam encourages marriage so highly that the Prophet Muhammad saw said the solat of a married man is many times more valued than that of a bachelor. A corollary to that is the Hadis that says the legitimate act most disliked by God is the utterance of the "talaq" on the annullment of a marriage. But to err is only human, and we are forever beset with problems, big and small. As they say, we plan, but God Ordains.
It's that much more painful when the marriage has lasted for decades, and children are involved. And that pain is felt by the entire extended family. What went wrong ? We searched in our hearts. It can't be something out of the blue. Did we miss the signs ?
This is not the time to play the blame game. This is the time for consolation, for soul-searching, and yet this is also the time for very private thoughts, for reaching for inner strength. This is a confusing time, and yet not a time to be confused. This is a good time for seeking peace with God, a time to pray deeply for courage and guidance.
I can't stand in judgement for a very private matter. The intricate issues I'm not privy to. The parties concerned might ask for advice, and what kind of a person am I to refuse it if I have it. Most regretfully, I don't have it. How could I, having no knowledge of the meeting and departure the two hearts and two minds that have created a niche in this life for nurture of family and family comforts, suddenly hitting a sand-bar of life.
I sympathize with emphaty, never pity, and yet cannot feel the real sadness of it all.
I can, however, pray that they find the least hurtful compromise. This is only what is sadly available to them, a compromise.
Above everything else, think of the poor children. They deserve the best consideration in this pathetic scenario.
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