I never learn.

6.3.2010.

I have to learn to fight my own fight, not someone else's. Talk is cheap. When the knives are drawn, the chicken usually run.

There was the time when Taib was ticked-off at the 10th. tee-box, many years ago, for talking too loudly while the flight in front was about to tee-off. I stupidly, though perhaps bravely, came to his defence, saying something like ok, ok, don't get riled-up. The golfer rushed to me and demanded I repeat what I'd just said in no uncertain tone. He put his face up to mine, spoiling for a fist-fight. I backed-off, because it wasn't my fight. Taib ? He just shut up. 

There was another time when our foursome - Ismail, Jamaluddin, Taib and I- had a brush with an intruding marshall who blithely drove his buggy across our path just as one of the other three in my flight was about to tee-off on the 7th. hole. I shouted, and what did the marshall do ? He actually turned around and got out of his buggy and rushed at me. I had shouted for the sake of my friend who was affected, but I go the fight. To cut the story short, all of us appeared before the Club's Disciplinary Board, since all four of us signed the written report. So what happened ? I told them exactly what happened, while I later gathered the other three said they were too far away to hear the words exchanged between me and the marshall. I mean, they could have been more committed and add weight to the incident rather than say something to the effect "it wasn't us, really". Only the fact that I challenged the Board about the priority on endangerment and the established fact that the marshall crossed the path of an active flight probably saved all of us from suspension, for which I was prepared to take legal action if carried out. 

Now this afternoon I attended the MUBARAK N.S. meeting. Ismail, until this afternoon's meeting the secretary, had discussed with me about bringing up his complain against the treasurer, Muhi. I assured him right this morning when we played 18 holes of golf that if the matter came up I would come to his defence. Aggressively if necessary, I added. It was a premonition.

There has been bad blood between Ismail and Muhi. I know the background and sympathised with Ismail. Muhi had been complaining to the President, Zahar,  that Ismail had been "interfering", just because Ismail had banked cheques directly, without going through Muhi. When the complain was finally brought up in a meeting about a year ago, I stepped in and said in my 26 years of service up to 1995, it was just the office boy who banked our cheques, not even an officer. I thought the matter rested there.

This month VUNS received a cheque from an Exco Member, a State cheque, meant for VUNS but as agreed by the Exco Member, made out to MUBARAK because the money cannot be credited to a political organization like VUNS. I told Ismail that it would simply take MUBARAK a payout from the cheque to VUNS. A simple administrative step. But that was not the spirit taken by the Muhi

Matters must have simmerred all this week, because Ismail surprised everybody at the meeting this afternoon, especially me, because he never gave an inkling about it to me although we were together from 7.30 a.m. to 12.30 p.m. He tendered his resignation with immediate effect.

In effect, after firing me up about the coming agenda on the cheque, he abondoned me. The subject was not listed on the agenda. On hindsight, I think the agenda was changed. However, the subject was raised by the Chairman himself. On hindsight, he must have been briefed by Muhi .  So, with no Ismail around, I explained to Zahar, the Chairman, the technical complication and the simple administrative step to solve it. And he agreed. 

Now, Muhi must have been sore because I  had taken the wind out of his sail. I'm pretty sure now that he thought he had missed his chance to condemn Ismail, in absentia. So what did he do?  After the matter was resolved because the Chairman accepted my presentation, he raised the matter again. I Interrupted him by saying the matter had been agreed by the chairman.  But he continued and further said, and this was when I saw red, he doesn't want MUBARAK to be the "kuda tunggangan" (made used-of). I raised my voice and demanded what kuda tunggangan?  and why are you making such an issue ? I lost my temper and said "you were my clerk before !" He was, when I was Felda Area Controller for NS. In fact I used to ask him to go to the market for me, because he also knew my wife. 

I supposed that was when hell broke loose. But that's a different story. The point is, again I was not fighting my fight. To put that incident in perspective, Ismail is a practicing lawyer, while the Muhi used to be only a clerk with SPM. 

I'm getting on in years, but cannot still hold my temper. I don't mind getting into a fight if I have to. Only next time I've to make sure it's my fight. 

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