28.4.2008.
To-day I'll jump a bit, and write on the interesting personalities to be found in one particular group of golfers at my golf club - the retirees.
We have different golfers of various ages and from different backgrounds at our club. They come from different races, from both sexes, running the whole range of handicaps both real and imaginary, and merit different mention here. There is no reason for the order of citation - it's purely random, and does not reflect in any way my preference for, or dislike of, anyone.
The "just retired" are the rookies of the group. You'll spot them right away. They're less grey, walk briskly, and drive the newer car models. They are more sociable, in that they usually come alone and can fit into any of the two or three-some hanging about the first or tenth tee-box, waiting to tee-off. They usually carry the latest model drivers which they pull out of newer golf bags perched on wide-wheeled trollies (as in most clubs, the golf caddies are a dying breed, if not already dead). The narrow-wheeled variety belongs to a much older generation. In fact the old model is banned in some clubs because it sinks into the turf, spoiling it. You can also spot this group from a distance, because they swing their clubs rather aggresively, and finish their swing with a fuller follow-through than the others. I would say Jamaluddin typifies this group. He's just retired from a bank, carries a single-digit handicap, and usually come to the club alone, as they say, "not fixed", but seems to prefer a particular, older ex-army bloke we call "Taliban" because he sports a scraggly, grey beard and talks of religion like a Shia clergy.
The next group is the "around 60". There are some pretty fair golfers in this category, some single handicaps even. In fact this is the most regular group because the members are finally totally free from any vestiges of business attachments and turn up at the club before 7.30 everyday without fail, rain or shine. Having spent a good portion of their lifetime playing golf, however, they are more comfortable with their own type and tend to hang around together. Racially, the different races tend to stick together, unfortunately. There's even a group of Indians we all call, behind their back, "Hindraf". This racial "segregation" is not a planned thing, I'm sure. Rather, it's more of a comfort thing, I think, because of familiarity, etc. I say it's unfortunate because it's in sports that it's easiest to integrate and mix, unlike eating together, for instance, where certain taboos make it impossible to sit at one table unless certain compromises are made.
On my part, I'm proud to say that all these years I have often, whenever possible, pulled my Chinese or Indian (read Punjabi) friends to join me in my flight, or I'd join them in theirs. I wouldn't say I'm completely successful at racial integration here, because, you see, I'm a bit opinionated and make comments without thinking. So while integrating playing golf, I'd disintegrate making comments.
But I'm sure Robert Yap, Ng You Kan, Ong Tiong Meng, Dr.Dillon and the rest don't take heed on my commentaries because they haven't tried to kill me yet. In fact last Sunday Robert bought me a coconut drink.
There's one group of Chinese golfers who always only play among themselves. So much so, if one of them fails to turn up, they'd play their remaining threesome without so much as a glance to find a replacement. In fact Jane Chee calls this the" chauvinist" group, though what she means is the male type, to the racist type. The "leader" of this group - because he talks the loudest- is Wang Hang Tham, an ex-banker. I always wonder whether he speaks loudly because he's used to giving orders, or because his volume control is out of order. I don't really know what handicap he carries, but since he always tee-off first, his must be lower than the rest of the group. However, usually the first tee is the only time he has the honour,because after that the winner of a previous hole gets the honour. So when I see him back at the club after his round I'd say "wang sudah hantam ka?" and he'd just grin. He drives a Toyota van and carries his RM 1 bills wrapped up in an old newspaper, the stingy bugger. He's from Parit Tinggi where there's a big Chinese cemetry.
Then we have a group of "70 plus". This is also a very interesting group. There's Jackie Khoo who knows everything, OTT the wild boar hunter, Dato' Ismail the MUBARAK Secretary, and Hj. Hashim the ex-custom officer, among others. Jackie is also probably the slowest player in the world. In fact he's almost as slow as Ruslan Hashim who normally recites a whole verse of the Holy Book before each swing.
I think part of Jackie's tardiness is because he's always teaching everybody in his flight. OTT hunts wild boar in his free time. One of these days the beasts are going to get him. Why, he can hardly walk, usually shuffling along as he lugs his halfset. He's also the local viagra dealer, although he plies the made-in-India type. He was also once a good business partner of Robert Yap, but they're no more friends. I think Robert foolishly took one of the pills and it didn't work.
Dato' Ismail could cause problems for Jack Nicklaus, because the great golfer's book might stop selling altogether if people find out how Dato' Ismail plays golf, and successfully, too. He carries the full set, but only uses two clubs - his driver, and his putter.
Hj. Hashim is a very serious senior golfer who has, for all of his 74 years, a decent handicap of 16. But sometimes he's too serious. This morning he was in the flight behind us. At the 7th. hole Maulud forgot to put back the pin after putting, and Hj. Hashim shouted and gestured angrily while waiting to make his 3rd shot to the index 1 par 4 hole. Maulud rushed to put back the pin, and Hj. Hashim promptly duffed his shot. So we all shouted back we shouldn't have bothered in the first place. We didn't hear his response.
Among all of us are the "old lady golfers". My God, just like "old lady drivers" - watch out for them ! When they signal left it doesn't mean they'll turn left. But one thing I can say is, they perservere. It may be the 8th. shot at the par 4, but they'll happily belt away. And when they come to the starter to register for play, don't ever think you can cut in. In this group you have Paru, who swings her club like a broomstick. There's Pauline. She's always smiling, and drives a large van. And Mrs. Woon, a small woman with an even bigger van to drive. After a round of golf, these dear old ladies dance in the club house. I'm afraid their dancing isn't much better than their golf !
Only Jane Chee, 66 and 18-handicap, has game. But then she was a State badminton player in her younger days. She used to play with me, and I gave her 4 strokes per 9 holes - that's almost 50%. After losing in the last 10 outings she's quit on me. She's now gone back to "Chak-flee Tan" who used to be her playing partner before abondoning him for me. It's a round world, I guess.
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