This is posting no. 1 for 2020 - that mementeous year Mahathir had set his sights on 25 years ago, as the "Malaysia Developed Economy Year". This also happens to be the optometrists' notation for perfect vision: 20:20. I'm sure this was not lost to Mahathir then, the old fox!.
Yesterday the "indoks" of the "Ujang-Banun Clan", all but 2 of the surviving members, trooped to Nodi's cottage perched on the edge of the "paya" here in Kg. Paya Besar , Segamat. Bibah and Kak Inam must have had other more important things to do.
Ari and Wira came with us in Dekna's Carnival, after Idah insisted we pick Kak Mot first. I had asked Ari to fetch Kak Mot, but he asked me, instead. I was ready to skip it, but Idah intervened. As it was, Idah had to crawl into the third-row seat. Serves her right ! Anyway, Kak Mot must have somehow sensed Ari's and my pranks, because as she alighted from Dekna's Carnival on being brought back home, she almost sadly said " akak ni kok ado yang bawak dapek lah samo, kok tak, takdo lah". (Sob).
Ari suggested we go via Bahau. Traffic shouldn't be heavy as it was only 9 a.m. I'd told Ari I'll fetch him at 9 o'clock but purposely came half-an hour early, and caught them both un-ready. Later we even stopped for breakfast at Ah Meng's popular coffee shop in Parit, where we met several acquaintances, including Nosa Ngat-ngat and family, and Nosa ended up picking the tab ! She was on her way to KL for fresh stock - she operates a dress shop in KP.
In spite of the stop and the leisurely drive, we arrived at Nodi's place early. In fact Nodi & Olin were still not home from a last-minute shopping trip. We left the party at about 4. But we went back via Rembau, and stopped for some satay in Senawang. It was 6.30 then.
This was the third such meeting, after the first one at Ai's little cottage in Kg. Durian Tiga Batang, and the second one at that forgetable restaurant near Forest Hills, Senawang. The next one would be hosted by Cik Ani, and she suggested "the Rebong" KL, though loudly objected to by Bang Piei."Membazir!" The Rebong is supposed to be expensive, thus the objection by stingy Bang Piei. But Cik Ani is probably planning her own 75th. birthday party. I think I'll give her a secret birthday present.
Nodi had taken a lot of trouble to prepare a nice table, with traditional dishes and fruits and lots of Malay cakes. I concentrated on the fruits and cakes, taking just a senduk of rice with tempoyak and gulai daging, washed down with plain water. The others attacked the food with gusto, especially Bang Piei, who loudly asked for more rice before finishing his first serving. But he had to use fork & spoon. He can no longer control his fingers when scooping the rice into his mouth. That was why when he arrived earlier, his shirt was unbuttoned. Cik Ani had to do it for him, poor Bang Piei. He's already using a cane to walk. Like Bang Dek. "Playing rugby" Kak Mot said in the Carnival. I said my brother Dr. Din played international rugby at university, and Md. Nor Jidin played rugby in UiTM, but they're still walking upright. "Not yet" Kak Mot defended Bang Piei.
These meetings, starting with the first, emotional one at Ai's house, are supposed to complement the periodical gatherings organized by "The Clan", but limited to the induks only. There are 9 left - Kak Mot (single), Kak Inam (single), Bang Dek (couple), Cik Ani (couple), Bibah (single), Idah (couple), Ari (couple), Bal (single) and Nodi (couple). Bang Dek and Ari are the last two male induks.
The first meeting was emotional because it was the first one. The subsequent ones were not. Both Ari, who acted as M.C., and Bang Dek, the most senior male member, shed tears. I wasn't moved because it was just a gathering of surviving siblings, trying to maintain close family ties. In many families the strong ties are evident, borne by frequent contact and close proximity. In this clan, members have married in various directions, children have carved separate careers where work often made contact infrequent, and life generally follow different paths. So this effort to keep contact is credible in sustaining a good family tie. The only danger I see is to make it forced and too formal. There are signs.
Bang Dek has grown more emotional with time. Age and bodily degeneration would do this to you. Family experience does that, too. He used to criticise Bang Tai when he was emotional when marrying off Dek Mar. Now he knows.
Ari is always emotional, but in a good sense. He's always close to his brother and sisters, and they him. The nephews and neices, too, see this trait and return their warm feelings for this particular uncle. So whenever the family get-together calls for some tears (of joy, really) Ari behaves accordingly !
The drive to Segamat was filled with chatter. I contributed only intermittently. Kak Mot didn't want to lose out and contributed her share, which was ok, because she's no Idah (she's the strong & silent type lah ). We talked of Wira family members and Kak Mot's family members and Bang Dek's family members, and other family members who were not in the Carnival (they don't know so shouldn't mind). The one thing that Ari wanted to stress on was his appreciation for his nephews' and nieces' and grand nephews' and grand nieces' love and respect for him. Let me tell you, this isn't universal, certainly not in this family, and I admire Ari's predicament. I don't teach my four kids disrespect for elders, and I see they're ok there, so far. But there is one or two among them who won't even acknowledge my presence, not that I'm disturbed by it.
We also talked about how Ari met Wira, how Nodi met Olin, and how I met Idah. So we mentioned Taman Murugesu 1974 and Bang Jat getting chocolates from Wira everyday because she'd walk up in front of my house to get home on the top of the hill. Ari was mostly in my house, because I was in University of Birmingham for six months, attending a management course. On Nodi I asked how come she met Olin because she was with Felda, Seremban (I put her there), and Olin was a Malaysian clerk in London. Ari said to ask them later in Segamat, but it didn't happen. In my case, and Ari knows some of the details, I mentioned Nazri Adam and Hussin Lonek and Bang Dek in Ampang Jaya, but didn't continue with the narration because I could feel the cold breeze from the back of the Carnival !
We all took opportunity to congratulate Ai for his appointment as the Chairman of the J.K.K.K. making him the "Ketua Kampong." It's a political appointment but carries a stipend, and the resposibilities are many. They call the K.K. "Datuk Ketua Kampong." So I told Ai's wife "You're Datin now."
Ari also mentioned that he heard Sham wants to sell her house and stay with one of her kids. Everybody at the back of the Carnival suggested advising Sham to not follow the style of her Singaporean kin, looking for cash just to travel.
Wira said in Nodi's house that Mizi is competing again in golf. I could only give my vehement support, quoting Gavin Green and Nicholas Fung, and that Mizi had invested so much time and effort to be a pro golfer that it's a waste to abondon the game when he has gone so far. Later I even strongly advised Kamil to take up golf, and called aside Ari and suggested he transfer his SIGC membership to Kamil, for a fee, of course. Ari just smiled, but said he has to consider Mizi, too, because he's not a member.
Nodi had built this house while still working in Sabah. I went to the back, and picked some ant-infested but very tasty rambutan there. I see the house built right into the swamp. I can visualize the insects and other pests climbing out of the stagnant water invading the house. They should have built their house on the other side of the road, I think. But then, this was the plot available, I suppose.
Nodi's youngest daughter is completing her Hotel Catering Diploma course this year, and is already talking marriage, to a fellow student from Kelang. I call her "Iban." She was born when Nodi was working in Sarawak.
Kak Mot said Kak Munah (Orang Putih) was very different when Bang Din was around, and she was still a Singapore police officer. She'd hog the talk, cooked fast (and tastefully) and was the life of the party. Now she's down with Alzeimer's, mute and helpless, though she can still walk. Ai is a wonderful son. He takes care of her, toilet and all. It's, sadly, an uncommon action of a dutiful son, God Bless him !
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