Post-wedding muses.

25.8.2013.

Now that the last "khenduri" I'll ever organize is over and done with, I should pat myself on the back for a job well-done, and reflect on my humble fortunes, such as they are.

I met Dato' Hamdan, ex-Speaker DUN Negeri Sembilan, at the Giant, Ampangan, yesterday. We share the same political fate - we were the DUN elected members for the same period and duration - 1995-1999. He lost the Divisional Head's post to Mat Hasan, the current MB, I was dropped by Isa, the MB at that time. Hamdan and I went into political wilderness; 

Mat Hasan is riding his steady political career;  Isa has been a party heavyweight who enjoys the sustenance of that enviable position. But, as they say, that is another story.

The first thing I said to Hamdan was a friendly rebuke for not coming to my daughter's wedding the night before. His ready excuse was he didn't get my invitation, although he confirmed that he's still at the old address. I went on to say Isa and Mat Hasan also didn't come although invited. I met Mat Hasan personally to hand him my invitation. Only his wife came. He said  had to chair the SIGC AGM. When I was the GM where I worked, I would adjust my schedule to suit my itinerary. I guess that's how high he placed my affairs in his scheme of things. That's ok. 

As for Isa, Hamdan defended that  Isa had his Raya open house Friday. I guess that's how high he placed my affairs in his scheme of things. But that's ok, too. 

I told Hamdan to tell Isa, next time he meets him, that I was aware that he was going to drop me in 1999. I had been in the "new" UMNO since 1987 and I could  sense these things. I told Hamdan to tell Isa that I had always, politically, supported him, that I took my elected position in the DUN seriously and never spoke without notes, so that I would do justice to my job.  Whatever negetive impression he held about me towards the last one to two years of my service in the state are not facts. And, I told Hamdan, I say this with God my witness.

I had a pleasant surprise when my first cousin Dato' Dr. Muhammad Nor Abdul Ghani and Zaiton his wife came. Surprise because after three earlier weddings that he didn't attend, this time  he finally came. Pleasant because it certainly was.  But very touching was Aman Shah, who had a stroke, and Salomi, who came all the way from Perlis. We go back to old Felda days - 1968 to be exact. Aman sat with Dato' Ishak, and jokingly I told Ishak Aman is PKR !

Old school mates fromTanjong Malim, Kuala Pilah, Port Dickson and Sungai Besi, varsity friends and old housemates, people I worked with through all the years, golfing friends, political acquintances and selected neighbours made up my guests' list, although, as to be expected, some didn't make it. But the dewan was full, and except for a few tables, all seats occupied. Some of these faces I'll probably never see again.

I was  happy Datuk Nasir Yusof also made it, together with his old driver. Nasir also came to one of the earlier weddings. He  was my erstwhile boss in Felda. We used to have our differences which I didn't always handle with sufficient subservience. I used to tell my friends about some of incidents involving him. But I can tell you there never was disrespect. His demeanour  was the Kelantan Malay soft-spoken, polite "orang besar". Outwardly, I've always been obnoxious. But inside my heart is gold. 

If I am to be judged by the company that I keep, then I was proud of my guests who came to my daughter's wedding. I said so in my short ( I hope ) speech - that I wish my daughter would eventually gather around her friends who help make her life more pleasant.

I'm going to be 69 this December. My time draws near, and I accept that. My life story won't make any difference to the rest of the world. But I hope my "tulang empat kerat" have made a difference to my "empat" children. I hope  I have put them on a steady footing so that they, in turn, can face their lives with  confidence and   good judgement.

I never leave them out of my prayers, but they don't know that. They don't have to.

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Dekna, marriage vows.

24.8.2013.

Thursday 22nd August, 2013,  3.30 p.m., I uttered the "ijab" with tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat. My new son-in-law, Mohammad Haniff, answered the "qabul" that solemnised Dekna's marriage in the humble house in Seremban, witnessed by family and close relatives and  friends. My wife can now rest easy - she's the one most anxious of all to see the daughter finally married-off.

The "aqad" ceremony went  as planned, and the night followed with "tahlil" and supplications to God for the safety and prosperity of the matrimony. Ali the Fifth "tompang semangkuk" and had his ritual haircut and collected some money of which  the parents refuse to divulge the amount.

The wedding reception was held at the town hall Friday night. I expected some 750 people, but some called saying, at 8 p.m. they were still stuck in traffic on the KL-Seremban highway and had decided to abort. Finally probably there were 20 couples or 40 people less. But the party was no less merry. I asked Ai the MC to target the commencement of the "menyembah" ceremony at 10.30. It was achieved.

Some close friends and family members didn't / couldn't  make it. A few prominent personalities whom I had personally met and invited didn't turn up, but it's ok. But Bang Enon, for the first time after 3 tries over 16 years made it, and it was indeed a very pleasant surprise, and I told him so, repeatedly.

So this was the last wedding in the family. There is a sadness to it, seeing one's little girl now directing the rest of her life to someone else. Sure, I'm also gaining a son-in-law, but the loss is not less palpable  for it. 

She left home after Standard 6 for boarding school, and in a sense has never come back. It's sad.  Now that she belongs to someone new, it's much more sad.  There were already  precious moments that were lost because we were apart when she was growing up. There are going to be precious moments that will be lost because we'll be apart as we move on. The love, however,  is not lost.

There - all four off-springs have been wedded-off ! I pray they find lasting  happiness with  their  new families.  Their lives are in front of them, and each has his/her  job cut out.   My job is done.

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Ros - 24 Ramadan 1434

2.8.2013.

Ros, Kak Mah's second daughter, passed away early this morning, at home in Rawang. But the wife decided to tell me only after I woke up from my morning nap after Subuh prayers. In fact she was dressing up to wait for her brother to pick her up to go to Rawang, without me. She assumed I wouldn't want to go. Bad assumption. In the end everybody came in my car.

We reached the mosque just as the muezzin called for the solat Jumaat. The prayers for the jenazah was after that. I made sure I stood right before the covered shroud. That was my last visit of respect for Ros.

She only came to my house just once when we were still in PJ. How she found my house, only God knows. But that was the first and last time. 

Some weeks ago I heard she came to Seremban and went to a few relatives' houses, but not ours.

She was just 60. Too young.

It wasn't a good life by my reckoning, and the reasons are  too sad to recount. It doesn't matter now, and I pray she's at peace. 

I just spoke to her nephew, Bot, on the mobile, suggesting a tahlil be held tomorrow night at the surau here, but he couldn't decide.  It's the least I could do.

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