Matrimony.

2.3.2011.

Islam encourages marriage so highly that the Prophet Muhammad saw said the solat of a married man is many times more valued than that of a bachelor. A corollary to that is the Hadis that says the legitimate act most disliked by God is the utterance of the "talaq" on the annullment of a marriage. But to err is only human, and we are forever beset with problems, big and small. As they say, we  plan, but God Ordains. 

It's that much more painful when the marriage has  lasted for decades, and children are involved. And that pain is felt by the entire extended family. What went wrong ? We searched in our hearts. It can't be something out of the blue. Did we miss the signs ? 

This is not the time to play the blame game. This is the time for consolation, for soul-searching, and yet this is also the time for very private thoughts, for reaching for inner strength. This is a confusing time, and yet not a time to be confused. This is a good time for seeking peace with God, a time to pray deeply for courage and guidance. 

I can't stand in judgement for a very private matter. The intricate issues I'm not privy to. The parties concerned might ask for advice, and what kind of a person am I to refuse it if I have it. Most regretfully, I don't have it. How could I, having no knowledge of the meeting and departure the  two hearts and two minds that have created a niche in this life for nurture of family and family comforts,  suddenly hitting a sand-bar of life.

I sympathize with emphaty, never pity, and yet cannot  feel the real sadness of it all. I can, however, pray that they find the least hurtful compromise. This is only what is sadly available to them, a compromise. 

Above everything else, think of the poor children. They deserve the best consideration in this pathetic scenario. 

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Tenang bye election in particular, Malaysian politics in general.

31.1.2011.

Was I right about Tenang or what ? Chong Kim Yew said last week "not sure yet" when I said BN will win. I told him BN will win because it's BN vs PAS, not PKR.  And Johore is not Kelantan. 

In the subsequent campaigning that I followed on the internet, I read that PAS initiated the personal attack on the BN candidate. Unfortunately, ex-Cikgu "Malang" (it's Mala)  appeared to have a lot of skeletons in her cabinet, and they were fodder for the BN counter-attack - her dismal academic qualifications, her past job, her two marriages, and her leave-cheating husband, to name a few. 

There's the Malay saying that  PAS  forgot -

 "slandering the prawn, the nail worn, 

  slandering others, I'm worse!" 

("Mengata udang paku serepih, mengata orang aku yang lebih").

I saw on tv the post-election panel talking about BN needing to do this and that before the next big one ; to change tactics and go for substance. 

Well, it's not BN. It's the people, the electorate. What makes them take notice ?  As can be seen in the support given by the Chinese ballot, race is still a factor. The Indians, for whatever reasons, seem to have returned to BN. The Malays are split into 3 - BN, PAS and PKR. Local issues, even old and seemingly minor ones, matter. Personality matters. In fact the juicier the stories, the better. 

Unlike the "good old days", now good candidates are important, the party less so. PAS is just another political party, and what it says about Islam is not, well, Gospel. It has made too many U-turns about too many things: about women candidates, working with non-Muslims, even the strict implementation of hudud. In fact, in order to get votes and win elections, PAS has gone further than UMNO in doing some things that even UMNO has not done in spite of its long association with MCA and MIC.

PKR was born out of one man's frustration with the UMNO that initially brought him "from the cold", but then put him back there again. What can you say of followers who just want to follow ? Even Ayah Pin with his absurd "Kingdom of the Sky" has his followers, as was the case with the late Ashaari's "Darul Arqam". How many deviant teachings have been found, and how can these people not see the phony teachings ? NS once said there were 54 deviants in the state. It's up to the thinking man to think. 

Many UMNO people are crooks, too. But all in all the party has done something for the country. Don't throw the baby with the bath water. It's not a one-man party. Everybody in it should learn from the the mistakes made and the weaknesses exposed. Erring  members should be culled. If the apple-polishers and opportunists and the bad hats are not uncovered and disposed of, then BN will continue to grind out the same superficial and tiresome propaganda that the tv panel suggested  should be  replaced. With substance.   

Like the next bye-election  in Merlimau.

 

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Keeping the book collection.

25.1.2011.

Most of the books that I have bought, been given or picked up one way or another through the years are gathering dust in one corner of the house. Once in a while I pick up one again, and flip through the pages, stopping wherever I had left a mark, and try to refresh my memory of those printed words read.

I remember my plan of long ago of indexing my "mini library" and it's not done yet. I said "most of the books" because I've lost a few - because of the passage of time and because of moving house many times in the last 43 years. The oldest books with me were given by my late father - "Hikayat Abdullah bin Abdul Kadir, Munshi" and "Kesah Pelayaran Abdullah" both from Malaya Publishing House Limited, Singapore, 1947. The latter was written in 1852, the last work of Munshi Abdullah before his death during the Holy Pilgrimmage. These two were given to me after the family moved back to Kuala Pilah from Tanjong Malam in 1957. That's 54 years ago ! 

I also have Mahmoed Joenoes' "Tafsir Quran Karim" from Pustaka Mahmudiah Djakarta 1957, the first prize for Oratory Competition for Negeri Sembilan Religious Schools in July 1958, held in Rembau. I have  Prof. Muhammad Yamin's "Atlas Sedjarah" from Djambatan, Djakarta 1956 that was my first prize in the Oratory Competition for  students 14 - 18 years during the "Minggu Bahasa Kebangsaan" Kuala Pilah District, January 1960. There was a big cup that came with the prize but that was kept by the School for the return competition, but I don't think there was. The Cup is probably lost.

Incidently, I went on and won the National Oratory Competition Minggu Bahasa Kebangsaan the same year, and received another big cup from the first Raja Permaisuri Agong at the Dewan Tuanku Abdul Rahman, Jalan Ampang, KL. TMS, my old school, kept the cup and is probably lost now. But I still have the photo with the Permaisuri Agong taken by Straits Times. Lula, No.3 Son's wife, came across a newspaper cutting carrying the same photo with the story "....he is now probably 57 years old..." I was 60 when Lula showed the cutting to me.

I'll probably catalogue by subject. I have some old religious books, but the basic Malay text and not the advanced Arabic printing. For more advanced material I have to rely on the English translations by mostly Indian and Pakistani Islamic scholars.

The biggest subject collection must be under "Golf." At the last count I have close to 100 books on, about, or related to the game. The oldest is Harry Vardon's "The Complete Golfer" from McClure, Phillips, New York, 1905. There was no obvious intention to keep a collection. I just acquired the books along, and they grew in number as I moved on. 

But since I discovered the existence of "Pay-less Books" some years ago, I have regularly added  my collection, especially hard cover editions. "Pay-less Books" makes old, pre-owned  books very affordable for me, where new books in Malaysia must rank as probably the most expensive on the planet. Old or 2nd-hand, the contents of books don't age. In fact some may end up more valuable if , like Munshi Abdullah, they become very rare. 

I have been thinking, why can't the Government allow books to be cheaper and make the public better read. Whatever loss on levies on paper and printed matter or whatever, are surely more than compensated by the gain in readership, and with it, knowledge. 

I didn't know that Dekna would eventually become a lawyer when she was born, but somehow I've picked up a few books on, or related to law , and I've had them for a long time. For instance, there is the notorious (in Malaysia) Alex Josey's "The David Marshall Trials" from Times Books International, 1981, and "The Law is An Ass" by Gyles Brandreth, printed by Pan, 1984, bought  in 1984, and the book by the New Zealand Q.C. about the celebrated sacking of Tun Salleh Abbas that is somewhere in the pile.  And this is one more reason why I must organize myself now. "The Law is An Ass" I've shown to Dekna who showed no interest reading it. I think she should read it. All the anecdotes are authentic. The asses must be real! 

 

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Face the real world, Dekna.

24.1.2011.

Your grandfather didn't live long enough to even see your uncle, my younger brother, graduate with an M.B.B.S. from M.U. How proud he would have been. 

You know, eventually seven of us siblings, children of the cikgu from Kuala Pilah, finished our tertiary education, some with post-graduate degrees, and made something out of our lives. Not great nor rich & famous, but useful lives we're always thankful for. And now the late cikgu's children's children are in turn coming out into the real world with at least adequate academic qualifications. They will not guarantee success, but put to good use they can help. And Dekna ,  you are a case in point.

By the end of 2010, you had already chalked up 18 months of legal service , most of them (12) where you are now, in Kuantan. I have told you too many times that the real world is nothing like the classroom where you have spent most of your life so far - 18 years of schooling to be exact. By your own school grades you have put yourself through a successful scholastic career. But good school grades do not necessarily transfer to good career grades.

If you think school was hard work, and I know you worked hard in school, think again. Real life is the really hard part. Nobody is going to grade you. You make your own grades. But everybody will assess you. As a worker, as a friend, as an adversary, as a human being. Later on, God willing, as a wife and a mother. And mostly you won't be treated, at least in your own eyes, fairly. You make your own call.

What's the secret to success in the real world ? Who knows. But surely one of the key ingredients must be the willingness to work, and work hard and honestly. No short cuts, no "spotting the questions" here.

You often tell me of your stress and frustration at work, in court. I tell you that life is full of stress and frustrations. Your career development will be built on them, stress and frustrations. If you are willing to learn from them, you learn to handle them and go over them. You will eventually succeed. Otherwise you fail. 

You say the defence counsels are too smart. They have to be, or nobody will take them. But learn from them. And work harder than them. You can't match them for experience, because they have been at it longer. 

So build up your own experience right now.  Remember you share the same early training at law school. But remember you had excellent grades. You went to the best girls college in the country. Successful as they are, did they get, like you, First Class Honours, and Best Student Award to boot ? 

Keeping this fact in your mind, but never flaunting it ( who cares, anyway ), you should be able to face them squarely. Throw the books at them ( don't take it literally). Prepare your case well. Be sharp like them. Be aggressive but respectful of their standing and experience and enjoy the intellectual sparring. Gain the respect of the court. That's my advice. 

Come to think of it, there's no stress here. Sounds like fun. So work hard, but enjoy it, too. Life is like making tea - it's up to you to make it strong or weak.

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More bye-elections & the stupid club.

22.1.2011.

Two more bye-elections are coming, and Hak Tam & I are at it again - RM 5 for the right guess of the winners. So at least there's money to be made from all this. 

BN should win Tenang ( and I win RM 5 from Hak Tam ) - Johore is not Kelantan. My sympathies  are with Cikgu Malang, oops ! Mala. I hope PAS can give her a job after this. I wonder what were the promises made that made her let go of her job to contest the polls.

Merlimau, too, should see BN win. The PKR lorry is steadily losing whatever momentum it got from the Dollah  debacle at the helms of UMNO. That gave everybody the inspiration to give it a hefty kick, and that included UMNO's own disgruntled members. Fortunately, Mahathir from outside, and Muhyiddin from inside, were courageous enough to say" enough " to Sleepy-Head.

The calls got the desired response from concerned UMNO leaders, not so much because the criticisms were true, but because any further delay in removing "Flip-flop" could spell the beginning of a quick end to UMNO.  Now it's still spelling " the end", but a bit slower - unless Najib & Co. grab the party by its short hairs and move courageously in the right direction. What that is, is another story. 

                                  ......

The bye-line on "the stupid club" comes from the show-cause letter I got from the club "for failure to give due notice" for pulling out of a particular club-organized event. 

You see, 24 hours prior to that event I had written to the club staff responsible that I had to withdraw because of a family matter.  Unless the club could get me on the first flight in the competition. That's not "due notice" ? The 24 hours may not sound a big deal,  but you must realise the draw was only made available the same morning that I gave written notice. 

And another thing, when the participants' list was first opened, I had put my name right at the top as the first entry. Why was I assigned to a late flight ? In fact to save participation I even got another member to agree in writing to change places with me. If the club was not so stupid it would have realized that the non-participation on my part that rankled it so much  could have been avoided by allowing for the switch.  Which should  have been unnecessary if it followed a simple logical "first-come-first-serve" system in its entry list. 

At the end of my reply to the club, after noting all the above,  I could not help putting in a dig "if you have just a little imagination, you would realize bla bla bla. " On hindsight I should have stuck to my original draft and written "brain" instead of "imagination". I don't think the club would have known the difference. 

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A belated wedding reception.

16.1.2011.

Atan's son, Tizar or "TJ" got married two weeks ago, but that was viewed as the bride's kenduri, I think. So we on Atan's side of the family were invited to his reception today, first by sms, then by card handed out by Bot during Pa' Ijoi's daughter's wedding in Lonek on Christmas Day. I think the sms use was misjudged and impolite and perhaps this explains the absentees to-day - Anjang, Bang Tai, Mak Uda & daughters  and a few others. 

The venue at Felda Villa, staged as a garden party, was quite tasteful. The crowd was just nice for the smallish compound. There was a cosy atmosphere, and the mc was professional and succeeded to make the whole event relaxed and friendly. The "soalan teka-teki" was especially entertaining. It made a welcome change to the usual wedding-feast activities. 

The caterers could do with better cooks, though. The food wasn't great, though the layout was good. I've served Felda early in my career, and I think Felda's setting up (after I left) of the "Merak Kayangan", "Dewan Perdana" (it was supposed to be called "Dewan Rama-Rama" and even had a large stainless-steel rama-rama in front for a short while until the new Felda Chairman, for the first time a politician, shot the the rama-rama down) and now, recently, this villa, is a good idea. There's big demand in  KL  for function halls. 

 Atan is the youngest of the late Kak Mah's children. If I remember correctly, Kak Mah named him after the day he was born, Hari Raya Haji, thus Ahmad Adzharudin. But he was, as the youngest, "intan" (diamond, precious) and so," Atan". The memory of his late mother, the oldest of the sisters, and that this was Atan's first daughter-in-law, would have had me attend the reception, sms or otherwise. I suppose people have different priorities in their daily lives. 

 Atan may have forgotten it, but I was the one who gave him his present job in Felda Niaga.  In fact, indirectly, I also "gave" him his present wife, because they met at work. That is said with a certain fondness and demands no credit. I was in position to offer it, and my late sister-in-law's son was seeking it. 

We lingered right up to the end of the scheduled booking time, mainly because we were waiting for Memi & friend, who eventually made it before closing time. Then we went in tandem to Cik Ani's house in Taman Melawati for tea, and were together back in Seremban by about 5. 

Dekna , Memi & friend wanted to eat out that night, and we did. We lost track of time for the evening and finally came home and went to bed past midnight. 

Memi and Dekna  discussed together the bills, I don't know the outcome, but my money was safe. 

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Calamities - natural & man-made.

15.1.2011.

The big floods inundating Australia, Sri Lanka, Europe and many parts of the world are the big news worldwide. 

The altercations in the Selangor State Secretary's appointment and the Rais Yatim's sorry tale are news Malaysiawide.

I feel empathic sorrow for the world news, and plain sorry for the local shenanigans.

The scientist would simply explain away the vagaries of nature in the climatic disturbances. The more religious would, doubtless, find reasons far more esoteric. The more mundane should at least realise that nothing beats nature, and the best human efforts cannot match the wrath of nature. Only the human spirit can lift us from despair and allow us to move on.

Notwithstanding that bit of self-serving sermonising, we should perhaps accept the proposition that we, creatures of God, must submit to His Plans. 

Which is more than I can say for Khalid Ibrahim. He's just being forced by man-made rules that he accepts someone he has reasons to dislike to be his head of administration in the State Government that  his political group now controls. To begin with, Khalid should be intelligent enough to know that he's where he is by default.

PKR as a political party that alone has no majority in the Selangor State Assembly. UMNO is still the biggest single party voted in in 2008. If the BN component parties delivered just half of their votes, things would have been different. But that is  conjecture. What is factual is, the BN vessel got stranded in 2008 because of its own internal malfunction, and the mouse jumped on the pile. 

But the crow standing on top of the cow-dung shouldn't, well, crow. Knowing this, Khalid should wisely pick his fights where they count, and not be like the silly lad in olden times, when, given a "kris" for the first time, he started to poke this and poke that with it. It was ok when he poked a banana tree. What happened when he poked at a rock ? Now to make things worse for Khalid,  he says he's set to convene the Dewan Negri to change the State Constitution to empower the Sultan to the pre-1993 status. Yet even as he mouths his lines, he's very publicly going against the Sultan. Can you believe it? 

Poor Rais has had his share of bad luck in his long political career. But he's a survivor, and he'll survive this one, too.  With excellent credentials, he went into Negri politics full of the promise that soon steadily materialised. He became the MB in spite of the ill-placed jokes made by his less-than-subtle predecessor. He became a Cabinet Minister soon after, but chose the "wrong side" in the UMNO scheme of things. He "burned his bridge" and fought hard for his old constituency wearing new colours, but this was UMNO of old, and he paid the price. 

And yet his well-spoken delivery and the hands of fate saw him survive politically until to-day, perhaps as one of the longest-serving Federal Ministers. His bad luck this time is that he took on the blogger-community in a confrontational manner, which is ok if you have what that takes, but not  if you lump them together, "the good, the bad, and the ugly." Rais is nothing if he cannot learn from his experience, and that should teach him that you may have a silver tongue, but you should not always use it too quickly before you use your good ol' brain.

It's always easy to comment, I suppose. But commentry is public menu. 

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